Have you ever felt like you want to pause the moment.. the in betweens of life.. before you face the next episode because you already have an idea of whats coming around. You dont know what surprise it contains but you know once you open it, there will be no turning back. It wouldnt be the same. You’ll never be the same kid that recieves that box so you prolong in opening it.
Not because I dont want it, its because I just want to stay. Stay like this. Like a child. Hahaha though Im no longer considered one, hello 22 nako. Isip bata lang talaga. I dont know if this is just me being an aquarian having the rebelious side. Haha i have no reason to be rebelious naman. But maybe Im just scared of the changes that might happen or the changes that already occured #thesis. Yeah, these thoughts occured after I started conducting/prelims sa thesis. Wew. I just notice that while writing this. At this moment talaga to promise. Well, since nalaman ko na ang reason kung bakit ganito.. Im outta here! Haha nope joke lang.
Thesis feels. Every weekend kasi we have to collect samples from the slaghterhouse then conduct IVF. June ako nagstart magcollect but until now once pa lang ako nkakapagpa-blastocyts 😞. Tapos yung mga kasama ko patapos na, ako hindi. Ako pa man din yung bata na uuwi hanggang pwede. Hay! I miss home.
What should I do then? I quit na yung thesis? Worst. Masanay na sa changes na itu?
Embrace the change? No. I cant. I dont want to. Stubborn na kung ganun ayoko pa talaga. Di pako ready😞.
But no matter how hard I resist it I know there will come a time that those boxes of change will push itself to me. And I cant change or stop it from happening. It is in His great plan to do so. Its just a matter of how Im going to see it. I can choose my life to be grateful or scared forever. Its up to me.
There’s nothing to be scared of when you have faith in the Lord. Whatevers that bothering my heart and mind, alam kong kaya ko to. Di ako sususko, tuloy lang sa pangarap. I’ll make my parents proud, someday 👊🏻.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understandings” -Proverbs 3:5