i failed

Yep. You’ve read that right (kung may nagbabasa man nito maliban sakin 😉). I failed. I have four subjects this semester and I failed two of them. Well it’s my not my first, the truth is.. Teka bilangin ko lang. Oo madami na. Okay its NINE, i already failed 9 subjects making my 6 year course to 8 years tapos may boards pa. Sa totoo lang i don’t even know why I’m here.

As being the eldest, i failed to be a good example to my brother (actually siya matino, dapat talaga siya panganay samin haha). Being the president of my sorority that has a major goal of “Academic Excellence” i failed din. O di ba to the highest peak na ang epicness ko. Pero teka you if you are thinking na ako na ba ang pinakamagaling samin kaya ako. Well, HECK NO! Maraming magaling samin i just don’t know why kung bakit ako(maybe they see something sakin na I dont see yet). Actually, I’m planning to quit my position because I don’t think that I deserve it. But I am most disappointed to myself because once again.. once again.. I’m going to make my parents sad. So far never in my life that I made them proud. Ang sad no. Hayss ;(

I’m maybe feeling nginig to the bones,  I lost my way ayoko na, don’t know why I’m here lahat na, Lahat-lahat na pwedeng magdescribe sa feeling na hindi  ko na kaya.at hinang-hina nako i-insert na. BUT I’M DONE KISSING MY ASS. Those mistakes are part of my life that I could never change. I’m done doing self-pity and crying because that won’t take me anywhere. It was my mistake so I have to face the consequence, take those subjects again and make a better performance. Learn from it. And this time I WILL BE BETTER. 

Maybe, God give us the same challenges again and again because we  never learn. Simple as that. Don’t think shits like God has left us and didn’t love us na because that’s crazy! God is with us all the time. It is us who failed to see Him. Life is not just about rainbows and butterflies sometimes we have to face the rain and enjoy it. So stop wandering if God has forsaken us because He never will. Trust His plans and hold on. Things will make sense someday and when you realized that you are better than before. If you’re wondering if I always think like this you’re wrong, I’m not. That’s why I’m writing this to keep myself reminded that God loves us so much and to share my thoughts na rin.

Yep I failed but  I’LL NEVER QUIT, I’M A LADY LIKE THAT. Hindi ako naging Lady just to quit. And those are just grades that doesn’t define who I am as a person. Yeah I can be easily distracted and lazy sometimes but I’ll never let those cards tell who I am as a person. I’m continuously growing and I’m on my way to becoming stronger and wiser. I may stumble along the way but I’ll never stop reaching my dreams.

O, tama na ang drama na e. Hahaha next time pag sinipag na lang ulit ako magshare. Ja ne!

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