Who do I feel like God just wants me to give up? Then after a few I like I’m just an ungrateful brat who doesn’t like to work or don’t know what to do in life?
Yesterday was the grand opening of our partnership here in Cabanatuan. But I don’t feel like there’s a partnership at all. I feel like we were being used by those businessman. We weren’t even called during the prayer. No photos with and no thank yous. We stand and endure the heat for 9am to 4 pm. Then it’s all me from 4pm to 7:25 pm. I felt so alone in those times. But I’m still grateful for my friends who come and supported us. But I didn’t feel any partnership at all.
I felt indifferent.
Today, our dog was missing. I think Red was stolen. Her cage was closed. Papa said maybe he jumped out of her cage. But I don’t think so. She’s already old and that was not her behavior. I roamed around our subdivision and asked everyone who might saw her. I don’t feel very positive.
I realized maybe I’ve been depressed this whole year that I’ve been covering up myself that I’m not. I am so lost in life. The work that I thought I am passionate about doesn’t seem like its what I want to do for the rest of my life. The hardest part is I do not know what I wanted to do. I feel so tired even I’m not doing anything. I feel so worthless even though I’m working and able to support myself. However, I have no savings.